Splinter – 2008
*** Out of ****
When it comes to B movie gold, Splinter is an Oscar contender. Boasting a similar vibe (and name) to 2006’s Slither, starring Nathan Fillion, this gory, witty and original flick is what all films of the genre strive to become. Although both films are low budget schlock of the highest calibre that is where the similarities end as Splinter does not need to pillage its ideas or motif from any other efforts. The writing is, for the duration as snappy as anyone could want, and the acting is as surprisingly solid as we could dream. Forget Saw V, or the onslaught of Asian horror remakes, this is the sort of chiller you should rush out and see.
Of the number of remarkable successes that define Splinter, the most refreshing, as I alluded to above, is the acting. Not to say that films of this ilk never associate with competent actors, but in this effort not only has first time director Toby Wilkins managed to scrounge up some talent that beg to ask the question “why are these people not in more movies” but constructs the movie with only 4 of them. The movie in its entirety features 6 actors. Charles Baker as a doomed gas station attendant, Laurel Whitsett as a local Sherriff, Rachel Kerbs as Lacey the drug addict girlfriend of Dennis (Shea Whingham, who steals every scene), Jill Wagner as Polly and her boyfriend Seth (Paulo Costanzo, who I have only ever seen as the nephew of Joey Tribiani on the short lived ‘Friends’ spin-off ‘Joey’) Not to ruin anything, but only a few of these characters survive long enough to be deemed as a main character, which basically leaves you with a three man show; and what a show.
The premise is simple, as all B movies are, as we find Polly and Seth on an anniversary vacation to the great outdoors. But after a disastrous campsite set up, they decide to call it quits and hole up in a motel, which they agree, has to be dilapidated enough to offset their failed wilderness adventure. While on route, they stop to help an apparently stranded woman (Lacey) who is in reality a distraction for the gruff convict Dennis, so he us able to carjack the happy couple. Taking Polly and Seth hostage, their fortunes continue to deteriorate after they strike a mysterious creature on the road, damaging the car. Struggling to a nearby gas station they soon find out that the thing they hit is not a fuzzy woodland creature, but a spiked sea urchin-esque, slimy parasitic contaminant that absorbs and kills whatever it touches. The survivors barricade themselves in the gas station and try to deduce a plan to escape un-consumed.
Unlike a number of B movie horror flicks, the crude special effects work to Splinter’s advantage. The creature’s erratic and robotic movements and the use of quick cut editing truly add a creepy vibe to proceedings. The ‘thing’ is very well realized and its characteristics can be viewed as an endearing amalgamation of dozens of movie monsters; the gooiness of the blob, the hunting practice of The Predator, the blood lust of Dracula, among others. There is a cornucopia of gore in Splinter, but never seems excessive or vile and certainly provides the scares; notably, a featured mutilation scene that puts the Hostel movies to shame.
Simply put, Splinter is a whole lot of fun, and far more original then 99% of the fright flicks that are slapped on the big screen yearly. If you have a chance, check out this beautiful barrage of B movie basics, disguised as a much better film. Don’t be a prick, and check out Splinter.
